They resemble obese women with orange-ginger hair tied up in a bun, with a large pink bow on their head. They also have very big orange beards and handlebar moustaches. They are dressed in large pink leotards, with a big tutu round their waists and pink slippers on their feet. Due to their immense size, they waddle around and use their huge bellies to push Dan around. If Dan attacks, they will instead bellyflop the ground creating shockwaves much like those caused by the Hammer's powerup attack.
When attacking, they shriek with maniacal laughter, and make similar sounds when attacked. If defeated with the hammer, they will be squashed. If defeated with another weapon, they will fall backwards, gracefully leaping into the air and thudding to the ground before disappearing.
If attacked with the Flaming Crossbow, they will be set on fire, but this will not completely kill them. Using the Gatling Gun on them requires many bullets. This also holds true for the Pistol. Using the Daring Dash, you can knock them into the water where they drown, but this is not advised since it's easy for Dan to slip in too!
They are often found perched on top of the Freakshow trailers and will leap down to attack Dan when he comes within range. If Dan gets cornered by multiple Bearded Ladies, they will all try to attack at once, this may cause a glitch where they seem to lose their sense of direction.
When separated in Dan Hand mode, these enemies will ignore your body wherever it is (even if it is directly in front of them) and either assume their undisturbed stance, or will chase you.
When undisturbed they appear to perform a repetitive yoga-esque exercise, rocking back and forth and stretching their arms and legs. Once they spot Dan they let out a shriek of laughter and begin to waddle after him relentlessly.
In the circus tent with the second Magician, there are four Bearded Ladies perched on stalls at either side. They will not attack until Dan begins to confront the Magician.
- It is interesting to note that these enemies were not likely risen from the dead, and may have simply been possessed by Palethorn's spell, although they do bleed green blood when attacked.